Happy Friday y'all! It's a super wet and rainy day in typically sunny South Florida which can play on your emotions if you let it, but I am pushing through! It is day 5 of my personal 30 days of gratitude challenge and today I am grateful for MY VOICE!
Growing up as a child I was often hushed. I was the kid that got "talks too much" on every progress report and report card. I talked a lot. It seemed like as soon as my feet hit the floor my mouth was going nonstop. Talking so much often left me either ignored because 'what is she yapping about now?' or misunderstood because everything is a passionate discussion.
After continuously being told to just be quiet, I finally did. I started to talk less and listen more. What I noticed in my silence was my voice also became silent. I learned that talking and having a voice are two different things. Yep, I talked a lot growing up, but I wasn't using my voice? As I got older, I began to wield my voice. Funny thing about that is when you begin to find your voice, often times folks will still try to hush you. Ain't that something! This time it is not because you're talking too much but sometimes because what you have to say doesn't benefit them. Oops!
I didn't realize how much I had allowed my voice to be silenced until I started noticing that I was doing things that I really didn't like or finding myself constantly in uncomfortable or forced situations. I was people pleasing my ass off and growing weary as a result of it.
I not only had to find my voice again, but I actually had to learn to use it to advocate for Michelle. For the longest, I have used it to advocate for others and their well being. So much so that I started to forget what I liked and didn't like or what I needed. Ultimately, I'd learned to hush myself. Oh but now that I am and FREE!!!!!
Yassss! I say what I need to say. I use my voice to advocate for my mental health and wellness. I speak what is in my heart and what needs to be said for me to maintain my peace. I give people the instructions that they need to interact with me so they have a choice in whether or not they can meet my expectations. I make it clear what I can and can not handle or tolerate. I don't swallow my words or thoughts like I used to because I learned that when I did they would fester and literally make me sick to my stomach. So when I say I am grateful for MY VOICE! I mean that sh!# with my whole heart! I have done a lot of work to get here and I am not letting up! You are gonna get this voice...ALL OF IT! Whew, that felt good! Using your voice can be liberating and tiring! You have to find the balance in it all!
What are you grateful for today?
XOXO,
MichelleRena
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