You don't have to live here anymore

I think I'm a good friend, and I'd like to think that my friends and associates feel the same way, unless yall lying...

For the past few months, I've been getting dressed and reciting the mantra "Sweetness is my default setting." Every day. Religiously. I want everyone I could across the feel better about whatever is troubling them. So why don't afford this same energy to myself?

I'm sitting here today anxiety creeping because life be life-ing, and I'm met with "You don't have to live here anymore."

Live where?

In this state of chaos. This irritability. This agitation. I can choose different. I have the tools in my toolbox because I pull them out when my friends are in the space. So what can I do when I start to feel this way?

Eat? Yell? Run away?

Bitch...no.

Breathe. Listen to music. Cry it out. Talk it out. Scream. Get out in nature. These are all the things I suggest to my friends but draw complete blank on when it comes to my own bouts of anxiety and depression.

This healing journey isn't linear. It dips, dives, peaks, and plateaus. However with each moment, I am able to activate the things I know to be true for me to come back to myself.

I choose my state of being. Not these fleeting moments of uncertainty or that voice in my head telling me that I can't get this done.

I am divinely guided, even when I feel like I'm spiraling and can't see my way. I trust in the divine plan for my life.

I am divinely protected no matter what I come up against. Things may happen that throw me off a bit, but nothing can stop what's meant for me.

I know, feel, and see the truth of these statements every day, and I'm integrating them as I go through this currently state of fluctuation.

I don't have to live my former life anymore.